Friday, December 31, 2004
Strawberry New Year
In about an hour and a half, 2004 will end. But before we start lighting up those fire crackers, I'll do my annual: "looking back at what happened this year" year-ender.

But I decided to give it a different approach.

Right now, I have with me the CD I compiled for my own pleasure. What I'l do is listen to the songs in the CD and tell you, the reader, who comes to my mind upon hearing the song. Of course, there may be some explanations here that would sound really stupid, but what the fuck... This is my blog, is it not?

Let the tracks begin...

1.) I don't love you anymore by Isha
- This happens to be my favorite song this year. So who else would I think of but me?? And why does this song affect me so much you may ask. Well, when you get the chance to listen to it, you'd be mistified with the piano intro and the voice of the singer. Include the message of the song and how the lyrics was written, this makes a superb song (for me, at least). Plus this song also helps me get over some of the stuff I found really hard to forget for the past few years. Truly, this song is my therapy.

2.) I'll be seeing you by Isha
-another one of Isha's songs. This is her endition of the hit classic sung by loads of people from the past. And who do I remember when I hear this song? I remember my mom. She spent the holidays away from us and it's finally starting to sink in that she's not here. I'm remembering last week, when I secretly read my sister's blog account and laughed at her statemets about missing my mom. Sure, I miss her too but why did my sister had to broadcast it to the world??
So to my mom, who I'm sure I'll be seeing in a few months' time, I give this song to you.

3.) Everytime by Britney Spears
-Bessee. Certainly the person I remember when I hear this song. This year had been really different for the both of us. Not to mention hard. Before the end of our final year at our high school, she had some troubles about her, uhmm, can I call it lovelife? She's the only person whom I know to love people unconditionally no matter what. She's the perfect example of a martyr when it comes to love. Although she denies to be what I think she is, we both know that she's definitely what I think she is.
So to my bessee, whom I don't know how to live without, I give this song to you.

4.) Ghost by The Indigo Girls
-I first heard this song back when I was still a junior at my high school. This was dedicated to me by Propesor,whom I consider to be my mentor up to this very day. We separated ways when he had to go the states and work there. But though we're not seeing each other and we're not having enough conversations, I still consider him to be one of the best and one of the people whom I'd trust. I'm so happy I met you Propesor, and we all miss you.
So to Propesor, who taught me many things about life and its complications, I give this song to you.

5.) Same Ground by Kitchie Nadal
-This song reminds me of Yayen. Yehp... Yayen. She's the little sister I never had. We met during 1st year high and since then, we managed to build this friendship based on whatever makes a friendship last. She left the country a few months back. Yet even though we're not together physically, I know that in a way, we'll still continue enriching the friendshi we have.
So to Yayen, who considered me to be her Kuya, I give this song to you.

6.) Simple Thing by Rayyn
-Aside from Bessee, I have another best friend. And this time, it's a guy. Let's call him Musiman. I don't think I'll never see anyone else handle all the things he handled for the past few years. This guy falls for the worng people easily. Not that the girls he likes are not good at all. They are actually great. But the thing is that they never saw what's inside Musiman ever. They regard him as their "big Brother" although he has lots to offer. I just hope he'll find the right one soon.
So to Musiman, who inspired me music-wise, I give this song to you.

7.) Everyday by Agot Isidro
-This is a song that I certainly give to my Princess. Just listen to the lyrics.
So to my Princess, who taugh me a lot of things, I give this song to you.

8.) Can't Cry Hard Enough by Bellefire
-The new rendition of the song would be for my ever beloved friend and coursemate, Cleonita. This year had shaken her so much (well, according to her mom) and I believe that she needs to sort things out. I'm not saying that she doesn't have the capacity to sort them earlier. I know this things take time and that's what you need. Time. Just always remember that I'm he beside you whenever you need me.
So to Cleonita, who cried over the Spanish bread, I give this song to you.

9.) Heart by Britney Spears
- I consider this song to be a sorry song by the heart-suicidal person to his or her tiny little beating organ. And that perso would definitely be Ferny, my blockmate. Even though Distance is his enemy, he's still hanging on. I actually admire his... uh... whatever it is he has. He knows how to hold on and he knows how not to be tempted.
So to Ferny, who decided to shave his mustache, I give this song to you.

10.) The Voice Within by Christina Aguilera (how did that get in the list?)
- This song is definitely for Treetops who is soooo secretive and soooo chaning the topic whenever it's about him. I hope that this year, you'd finally share something about you from your sensitive side. I hope you know that we're just here if you need us. And even if we only have shared 7 months together, I consider you one of my closest friends at UST.
So to Treetops, who denies that he's swaying, I give this song to you.

11.) Moon Shadow by Mandy Moore
- "I'm being followed by a moon shadow..." Listening to this song makes me all giddy and stuff (for some unknown reason) so because of that, I'm giving this song to Cace, my first ever girl bud now that I'm in college. She's the first ever person whom I treated pepsi and tried to mend our newly-born friendship. Well, I decided to give this song to her because I think it fits her in a metaphorical way. "Moon Shadow... moon SHADOW"... heheh.. hope she'll get it.
So to Cace, who is being followed by a Moon SHADOW, I give this song to you.

12.) He Brought me to you - Trumpets production of the Little Mermaid
-This song goes way back 4th year high. It was Musiman who taught me the song and it was Krayzee who sang the duet with me. But I think this song is really for my batchbook editor-in-chief, corps commander and good friend, Blue Star. Eversince I found out she has a boyfriend, she had been telling me all the cheesy details I'm not really sure if I'd like to hear. But after how many days and nights of working on the batchbook with her and whole Super Council, I think I got used to it. It's actually fun listening to all the things she says about her boyfriend... it makes you believe that there is still true Love today.
So to Blue Star, who is really in-love with her angel, I give this song to you.

13.) Time To Say Goodbye by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman
- The classic tunes of Andrea Bocelli soothes me and that's why I decided to include this song. But to whom should I give this song? Well, I think that I'dgive this song to a group instead of one person only. That group would be my high school batchmates. After how many years of being with you guys, I finally learn how to let go. Not of the memories we have, but of the physical boundaries that's been keeping us all apart. It doesn't matter if we're not seeing each other. What's important is that I know I'll hold on to every experience I had with you people.
Yeah... And I hope all of us go to hell.
So to my High School Batchmates, who will forever torment me in my dreams, I give this song to you.

14.) Demain by the original Les Miserables French Cast
- The song is in French, so there's a big possibility that you don't know what it means. So just to inform you, Demain means Tomorrow in english. It's actually the melody of this which drew me to it. And I guess this song's for my friend Nimbus, who had experienced quite a turmoil this year. No matter how much you're in trouble or confusion, always remember that I'm here to support you... though I'm not sure if I'm going to be nice about it.
So to Nimbus, who never fails to make me laugh, I give this song to you.

15.) Save the last dance for me by uhm.. not really sure
- Save the last dance for is your typical 1950's song. It has the guitars, a trio kind of voicing, and the lyrics. I think this song would be for my other best friend, Aurora, who had recently been depressed. You know you're going to pass. Just let everything fall into place and do your best to study. You're more special than you think. And even if we're not able to communicate recently, always remember that you're still my best friend and that no one could take you place.
So to Aurora, who will be seen in indie films soon, I give this song to you.

16.) My Immortal by Evanescence
- I can't think of another person for this song but Siopao. He's the ultimate Evanescence fan and he's the only one who told me the meaning of the songs. Thanks dude!
So to Siopao, who is probably tormenting someone else psychotically right now, I give this song to you.

17.) Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda by Beverly Knight
-Definitely for my cousin Foxy. I could still remember that night at our province when she cried oer this person who was really freaky. I know that you're over it, and this song is the best regret song ever. Harhar... But seriously, you deserve someone better. I hope you do find that someone soon.
So to Foxy, who still hasn't tasted Gonuts, I give this song to you.

So that's it. The year had been really bumpy, but I'm really happy that I managed to get through. I just hope I'll manage to get through. Good luck to all for next year and I wish everybody the best... well, not really everybody...

It's oly 15 minutes 'till the start of another year. Another year of pain, suffering, laughter, sadness, tears, happiness and crap.

And regarding this super-sensitive account, I decided to give up sensitivity and be more tough next year. If only I was like Brian Kinney.



I am complicated.
I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient.
You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit. - Brian Kinney
What do we say about ourselves? Some of us would say good things and the others would do otherwise. We are complex and even if we write down everything we think about ourselves, any amount of paper and ink won't do. Explaining or describing yourself is hard. It's like solving problems but only this time, you actually know what the problem is, and its solution is something that would either shatter you or complete you.